Friday, September 25, 2009

Why I Hate Being A Black Man #950

I'm usually reminded of why at least 3 or 4 times a day.... the latest reminder is courtesy of a guest article from Carmen Van Kerckhove's Racialicious. A Nigerian woman describes her worst daily experiences (surprise surprise) with Black men.

While I don't engage in any of the behaviors that she describes (I've never even approached a woman in my adult life.... i've discussed that before....and these stereotypes may have something to do with why) as a Black guy, I still have to deal with the mess (the collateral social damage) that they leave.


J.R. LeMar said...

I wouldn't let that bother you in the slightest. I'm not anything like the men she's talking about, so if she's going to pre-judge me based on them, just because I'm Black, then I don't want her anyway.

I've met plenty of ignorant embarrassing Black women in my life, but I don't assume that every Black woman I meet is the same.

Brian said...

Easier said than done for me.

In order to do that, I would have to be able to shut down and ignore everything around me. I do this to some extent already...but there's really no way to completely ignore the World around you.

What amazes me is that Blacks are the only group where its individuals are burdened by society with the responsibility for carrying the baggage or bearing the weight of the problems created by other individuals within the racial group. Society has its ways of making you feel responsible for the garbage from other people....(they do that with stereotyping, subtle and not so subtle forms of ostracism, racism, etc).

No other group is saddled with that same stigma or responsibility.

VERB said...

I see both sides to this. I have had the same types of interactions that this writer spoke of, but I chalk it up to most men thinking with their penises and not so much a Black man issue. Fortunately for Me, I had a wonderful father and have great male friends so I know that all men are not that ridiculous. I will say, however, that while so many men take this personally, they can't tell Me that they don't know any Black men like this. And if a woman's daily interactions with most of the Black men she comes into contact with are like this, then it's hard for her to see anything other than what she knows to be true. It's unfortunate that she's not seeing the big picture which is that many Black men engage in this type of activity due to their own low self-esteem. They exist within a testosterone-pumped system (the U.S) that has an overall disrespect for women (especially Black), and blatant disdain for them (Black men, especially intelligent ones). Don't get Me wrong, I'm certainly not excusing any misbehavior but I can't help but think that's what the issue is. I agree that lumping all Black men into the same category is grossly inaccurate, but unfortunately O/our young Black men (and women for that matter) are growing up in a society of hyper-sexualized instant gratification. For the older bruthaz that engage in this nonsense, they know better but are simply acting out what they see to work for some other bruthaz cuz a lot of sistas like men on bullshit whether they admit it or not. And to that, I question how they're able to get away with some of those things. Then I gotta look back to My sistas to see why they accept such nonsense. It's just a huge circle of unending bullshit, partly because of the differences of men and women in regard to gender behavior, in addition to the success of Willie Lynch's teachings.


AI: "No other group is saddled with that same stigma or responsibility.

That's simply not true. I'm gay so I can certainly attest to that.

Brian said...

Hello there Ms. Collins (Verb)!

Glad to see you posting again. When you posted a few weeks ago...I was out of commission with a broken PC.

But you hit on some good points as usual.

I agree with most of what you stated.

But the behavior by some Black men (a large portion) has created a Hell for a small few who don't want to be associated with those behaviors or the stereotypes that they feed....and that society feeds and buys into.

But my Black skin (worse than prison bars) doesn't allow me to escape the consequences of someone else's behavior or from the behaviors of the wider group. There is no escape.