Two recent reports on marriage seem to support a post that I authored last year where I suggested that the decrease in marriage was tied to income.
A recent Wall Street Journal Report indicates that American men in their 30's are making less money than their fathers did at the same age (adjusted for the cost of living). This, in my opinion, seems to correspond with the marriage pinch that some women are feeling, in terms of finding suitable men- "suitable" often meaning financially suitable. Women just happen to start feeling this pinch in their 30's.
Well, a discussion this week on the public radio program On Point seems to confirm not only that there is a marriage gap, but that the gap is based on socio-economics. Three scholars break down in clear detail how income impacts marriage. One African American scholar, Ronald Mincy, looks at the impact on African Americans in particular. Listen to this excellent discussion here. (Use the RealPlayer Audio Option). I'm one of those people who can't afford it....and can't afford to date or to even think about it.
People who are more affluent are more likely to be married.... and not only "married" but "happily married". While people who are near the bottom of the wage scale are more likely to be unmarried, due to the difficulty of finding a good potential life partner. Marriage is becoming more of a status symbol.... a sign of affluence in this country, rather than a covenant between two people (as it once was).
One of the guests on the radio program even suggests something that I have been saying for years now... that American society is turning into more of a Caste-like system, where economic classes are well defined, we become segregated along the lines of economic class and where something like marriage will be reserved only for those who can afford it...those in certain economic groups. Those who are less affluent will have a greater chance of being alone or unwed over their lifetimes.
The wedding ceremonies themselves have become a huge deal in this country, with the average cost well over $20,000.
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Being a single woman, I pretty much read anything that comes out about marriage.
One of the most discouraging things that I ever saw was a few months ago when a Black woman was writing about how, when talking to some young Black people, they felt that marriage was a 'White thing'.
A ' White thing'.
I shook my head, and asked once again where we were going as a people.
As for the wedding thing, I'm glad that I've passed the phase where I am obssessed by the big wedding.
I'm at the point where all I want is my husband, a preacher, a photographer to enshrine the moment on film, and a beach. Nobody else has to be there..wedding and honeymoon at the same time.
Rikyrah
Is it that people aren't getting married because they don't have money, or is it that by getting married people have more money.
Also, I think the characteristics, habits, and tendencies that cause you to become wealthy also would cause you to view marriage as the reasonable option.
Marriage was not originally about romance. It was about finance and power. It was about joining together families to preserve property or to transfer it. Warring nations would reach peace through marriage.
So to me, if you're broke and you want to get ahead, it make sense to get married. I think about my parents who got married in the early seventies. There is NO way they would have the wealth that they have if they hadn't gotten married.
in closing, you don't have to spend $20,000 to get married. You can go to the JP or the courthouse or get married in the pastor's study. You can wear whatever you want to. Now I think you shouldn't have kids if you are broke, but there isn't anything prohibiting broke people from getting married. Getting married might be the only way you claw your way out of poverty. When one of you is down, the other is up. Sharing expenses, saving together. One carrying the load while the other goes to school so the whole family can prosper.
But yes, it appears we are going backwards. I don't think that is a bad thing. People need to be chastened for having illegitimate children by multiple parents, or being promiscuous, or spending foolishly. Shame is a very powerful motivator. We could use more these days!
So to me, if you're broke and you want to get ahead, it make sense to get married. I think about my parents who got married in the early seventies. There is NO way they would have the wealth that they have if they hadn't gotten married.
I agree with you about this. I definitely agree with not having children when you are broke; but, if you are 2 adults, working with a purpose TOWARDS something else, that is a positive.
But yes, it appears we are going backwards. I don't think that is a bad thing. People need to be chastened for having illegitimate children by multiple parents, or being promiscuous, or spending foolishly. Shame is a very powerful motivator. We could use more these days!
Tell me about it. I sound so old when I say these things, but we, as a community, have things ass-backwards. I've gotten beyond people thinking that it's 'bougie' or 'middle class' -my way of thinking. I think it's 'Old School' Black folk. I happen to believe that there are such things as Black values - I learned my values from Black people. Unless I was in college or graduate school, I've always lived in the Black community, so what I know about living in a community, I learned from Black folk.
I have no qualms in saying that the ' values' parted these days from the hip hop generation aren't worth spit. You can't tell me that their 'values' are worth much, considering how worse off we are, as a people, now.
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