Saturday, June 20, 2009

'Wife Camp' for 10 year olds?

From Maccleans:
It’s ‘wife camp’ for 10-year-olds
Opinions are divided on a new summer camp for young girls


Two years ago, concert pianist Wonny Song attended a reception in Paris. The host’s 13-year-old daughter greeted guests at the door and made proper introductions. “She could speak to ambassadors, artists, business people—everyone. It really made an impression,” recalls Song, vice-director of the Lambda School of Music and Fine Arts in Montreal.

Inspired by this encounter, Song is starting a new summer program for girls. The goal of Make-over Camp is to instill poise, grace and confidence in girls between the ages of 10 and 14. For two weeks, they will learn to improve their posture, voice, table manners, conversation skills, wardrobe choices, makeup application, hostessing skills and music appreciation. “We see a lot of young ladies who can benefit from a makeover program,” said Angela Chan, director of Lambda and co-creator of the camp. “They need to develop their presence.” Marc McCreavy, an industrial designer and interior decorator, will teach the girls how to host events and decorate a table. “It’s important to learn about appropriate topics of conversation and appropriate attire,” he said.

“This reminds me of my days at French finishing school before heading off to Cambridge,” laughed Alison Silcoff, the leading force behind Montreal’s Daffodil Ball. “They taught me how to enter a room while closing an umbrella. We spent 90 minutes a day on deportment. Back then, a woman was, foremost, her husband’s wife. She was expected to host dinner parties for his business associates. But today, people realize that substance is more important than form. It’s more important to work on your career.”

From a feminist perspective, the optics are dreadful on something called Make-over Camp. “It’s a deficit name,” explained Kim Gordon, head of school at the private girls’ school Bishop Strachan in Toronto. “When our school opened [in 1867], we taught the daughters of Anglican clergy to become wives. We taught all the same things as the camp, like etiquette, grace and confidence. It’s still needed, but in the context of being successful. It’s infused in our curriculum, holistically, through general presentation skills. We see these skills as power tools for girls.”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot call a charm school feminist,” said Carrie Rentschler, assistant professor of communication studies at McGill. “Yes, young girls lack confidence, as we know from studies and books about the Ophelia complex, but the way to solve it isn’t to teach them how to be good hostesses!”

Yet some parents are desperate to help their daughters act in a more dignified manner. “Parents have asked us for this kind of class,” said Holly Potter, of Miss Edgar’s and Miss Cramp’s all-girls school in Montreal. “And our alumni are telling us to teach students table manners for business luncheons and events. We’re looking into starting an after-school program, but it will not involve walking with a book on their heads.” Sam Blyth, director of the co-ed Blyth Academy in Thornhill, Ont., shudders at the thought of a stand-alone class for poise and presence: “There are all kinds of things, outdoor things, kids that age could be doing in the summer. Let them participate, don’t just modulate their behaviour.”

The concept of makeover camp also polarizes parents. While full-time mom Heather Monaco eagerly enrolled her daughter because she’s “looking to raise a little lady,” some parents aren’t impressed. “It reinforces old, gendered expectations about ladylike behaviour,” says Tina Verma, a Toronto mother and TV producer. “Reverting to that 1950s model of repressed housewives is a way of responding to the crisis of the average household—fractured by divorce and busy schedules.”

Teaching niceties to girls alone makes sociologist Marc Lafrance irate. “It might as well be called Wife Camp! Is Betty Draper happy on Mad Men? No! She’s miserable! Things like makeover camp send the message that a girl’s value lies in being entertaining, ornamental, totally innocuous, accommodating and polite,” said the assistant professor of sociology at Concordia University. “I’m also concerned because it targets girls. Where are the boys?”

Lambda conducted a survey among its students to gauge interest in the camp. “There was zero per cent interest from the boys,” said Song. “Look, this is not a boot camp to reinforce the notion that girls should stay home. It’s not sexist. We would love to include boys, but what can we do?”

Political correctness makes the marketing tricky for anything that segregates the sexes. “When I went to the Parsons Mead finishing school for girls in England in the late 1970s, the school was already trying to hide the fact it was a finishing school,” recalled Carolina Gallo La Fl├Ęche, the corporate social engagement director at Ogilvy Canada and key organizer behind many of the museum galas in Montreal. “They called it empowering. The same thing happens today. Society has always been fearful of femininity and tries to control it.”


I'm going to get into trouble here. I agree with the camp. My only thing is that boys should be going to. I bring this up every once in awhile, when we're talkign about what we haven't passed onto the younger generation. Basic manners is one of those things, and they're talking about middle-class White folks, there are a whole lot of Black kids who need this, and much more. I don't see it as preparing them to be someone's 'wife'. I see it as them being taught what our parents taught us. If they want these young women to go far in their careers, there are social norms that they will have to know. Is this any different than the finishing school Berry Gordy made his Motown acts go to ' back in the day'?

I believe we should bring back Home Economics. You have children today who don't have a clue about many ' real world' things. When I think about knowing how to cook, it's just not some ' domestication tool', it's about knowing how to choose the foods that are right for you. Knowing how to cook enables you to be able to stretch your money even more if you can get inventive with what you can use. Not knowing how to cook makes you a hostage of the fast food industry, both on the streets, and in those boxes in the refridgeration aisles at the supermarkets - those things are chock full of preservatives, chemicals, and sodium. Knowing how to cook means that you can control what comes into YOUR home. A whole lot of these kids just don't know the basics; don't know anything about having a checking account, balancing a checking account; what to wear to a job interview, how to act in a job interview; how to write a letter. They don't have a clue. So, I'm not mad at these parents for realizing what their children don't have and trying to give it to them.

2 comments:

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hi there!

Actually, protocol training was a MUST for girls and boys when I was a child...

I think that schools need to have a class to teach proper social graces to children and not leave it up to the parents.

The Angry Independent said...

I don't know if it should be called "Wife Camp". You could still be a successful, powerful woman and have the etiquette... no reason why you couldn't have both.

There is definitely a need for more of this on this side of the border. I think Canada is still traditional in a lot of ways when it comes to gender roles, so this is more accepted there. But it definitely couldn't hurt below the border. I don't think the focus should be on gender roles necessarily... in should be more varied and should deal with the basics...such as courtesy and manners.

It could also include the other things you mentioned.... such as what to wear to an interview, etc.

This teaching is usually the responsibility of parents...but many minority kids aren't getting it for whatever reason. It could be because in the dreaded modern Black Culture, Hip Hop has more of an influence on youth than parents. That's where the so-called "Black Community" is right now. BET and Vile Magazine have become sort of the collective parents for Black youth.

You get out of a Culture only what you put into it...especially in terms of what you put into the youth of that Culture. If youth are being fed trash on a constant basis, then that's what you should expect to get out of them. Blacks have yet to figure this out.

So i'm all for anything that could help change that situation.