Wednesday, July 02, 2008

For Mama

BoyzIIMen, A Song for Mama


I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know,
I want to be able, as the days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand, with the setting sun,
And hate myself for the things I have done.

I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of man I really am;
I don’t want to dress up myself in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men’s respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and pelf
I want to be able to like myself.
I don’t want to look at myself and know
That I’m bluster and bluff and empty show.
I can never hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

By Edgar A. Guest

This was Mama's favorite poem. My mother has passed away, and I'll be stepping back from blogging for a bit. I'll do what I can. I had prepared myself mentally for her death to be as a result of the diabetes that was slowly breaking down her body. I learned all I could about 'complications' from diabetes and what to be on the lookout for, as I helped Mama manage her diabetes. So when the doctor told us in January that she had inoperable lung cancer, we were both stunned. After all, Mama hadn't touched a cigarette or been around cigarettes in over 25 years. It was swift, brutal and unforgiving.

I will not lie; my heart is broken.


The Angry Independent said...

Sorry about your loss Rikyrah.

Feel free to write about your experience... sometimes writing about it is good for coping.

Liberty Bell said...

I'm sorry for your loss. My friend just recently died of rheumatoid arthitis. A good place to go look for information is

Freedom Fighters United

Andre said...


Words can be powerful in some cases, not so powerful in others. So I won't pretend that I can say the line of all lines that will assuage the hurt that comes with your loss. So just know that we love you, are with you, and appreciative to your mother for giving you to us! Stay encouraged, my sister!

Deedlelee said...

I am so sorry, Rikyrah.

My mom died from diabetic complications; it was death by a thousand cuts, long and drawn out.

Take care of yourself and come back when you are ready

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Rikyrah, You have my condolences. Losing Mom is a pain so deep that I don't think most can truly fathom it until it happens to them. At least she will forever live in your memories.

~ Kit

George Sorwell said...

Oh my. I am sorry.

May your mother rest in peace.