Black Women and the Race to the Bottom Part III

Thugs and the Black Women Who Love Them - Singer Rihanna Beaten to a Bloody Pulp.

She wanted a thug, but I guess she didn't know that "Thug Luvin'" comes with a price. Will these women ever learn?

See my two previous posts on this subject. Part I and Part II.


Black girl lusts after Thug/Bad Boy -- Thug/Bad Boy beats or mistreats girl -- Wash, rinse, repeat.

How many times have we heard this story? This storyline has become all too common and you would think that it would serve as a lesson and warning to these women. Apparently the R&B singer Rihanna was brutally beaten to a bloody pulp over the weekend in LA. The suspect turned out to be her boyfriend... Hip Hop/R&B performer Chris Brown. From the reports... the injuries to this young woman were "horrific". Her face & head were apparently left swollen and bruised. This is not your ordinary domestic violence case... this woman was damn near beaten to death.

Rihanna suffers from the same disease that so many other young Black women (probably the majority) suffer from - The Bad Boy Disease. You could also call it... "Thug Addiction". But more often than not, the Chickens eventually come home to roost for these women. We are only hearing about this case because Rihanna is a "Star". But this is becoming more and more common, especially in minority communities. And of course they want the world to feel sorry for them. But I have a hard time feeling sorry for women who seek these men out...who lust for the bad boys and the thugs.

Rihanna expresses her love for thugs with her song "There's A Thug In My Life".



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Youtubers Try to Make Sense of "The Race to the Bottom"

1. On Black Women (generally speaking) not being interested in more educated Black men. (Also a part 2 & 3).

2. Why Women choose these men.

3. Why Do Women Want Thugs?

These last two videos are of lesser quality but seem to somehow get to the same point. The language used is not the language that I would use...but this is how these issues are discussed in the so-called "Black Community"....in the barber shops....in the privacy of people's homes, etc. So please forgive the language. (Rated R).

4. A Male asks "Why do Black women (some) lust after thugs"...and he poses the question to a female acquaintance.... where he's actually going with this.. i'm not sure...but he seems to make his point.

5. Even a thug asks... WTF?
The Angry Independent Does Not Support all of the Comments of This Youtuber.


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Here are a few Chris Brown selections: Rapper Ludacris feat. Chris Brown (listen to the lyrics). Video 2, Video 3, Video 4.

No, i'm not into blaming the victim... but these women (in most cases) make a choice to be with these men... despite all the evidence that the bad boy thing is really no good. Some might say that Chris Brown is not a "thug" (that's a common response from Black women/girls... their point of reference on what a good man is tends to be so skewed that they end up with this warped idea of what a decent man looks like. Many don't have a point of reference at all...and so they end up defending these guys, not understanding what they are defending). You don't necessarily need a rap sheet like Charles Manson to be a Bad Boy. I always thought Chris Brown was a thug... no... not hardcore like the worst of what's out there... but if it quacks like a Duck, walks like a Duck, looks like a Duck... then it's probably a Duck. He has all the mannerisms... and keep in mind... he's a 19 year old... he hasn't had much of a chance to get started yet... With young men...you are looking at...how are they treating young women... what lyrics are they using... how do they behave around their mothers and so forth. I saw this young man's behavior around his mother on one TV program... not so good...foul language...threatening behavior, etc...and this was when he was about 17 years old...he exhibited all the behavior of "The Thug". I know a lot of women find that attractive... but how much evidence has to accumulate before it sinks in that this is not the way to go?

I am not a fan of either of these "entertainers". I hate their music...and I don't care for the Hip Hop/R&B genre. I especially hate the Beyonce clones. I usually don't care about what goes on in the Black Hollywood gutter culture of Hip Hop. But this problem of women and thugs, especially Black women and thugs is a social sickness and there seems to be no end in sight for it. My "Black Women and the Race to the Bottom" argument or theory is constantly being proven with one example after another. This is a teachable moment because this singer, Robyn Fenty, is a role model for tens of thousands of young women, young minority women in particular, who emulate her. That includes my 20 year old baby sister. Since this is so high profile... it's a teachable moment that shouldn't go to waste.

The teachable moment could be that lusting for the thugs and the bad boys comes with a price and that price isn't worth it. Another lesson here is that young women shouldn't protect their thug boyfriends by not cooperating with police, or by accepting criminal charges for these men, by covering for the illegal activities of these men, etc... (something all too common for young women in the so-called "Black Community").

If the reports about Rihanna refusing to cooperate with Police & not pressing charges are true, then it's just another example of how these women send the wrong message to the young women (and Black males) who emulate them and look up to them. Luckily in the State of California (if i'm not mistaken) it may not be necessary for the woman...or victim in a domestic violence case such as this (with visible injuries) to file charges. The State can actually become the complainant if the victim refuses to press charges.

And why are these teachable moments always squandered? Why is it that lessons are never learned from these incidents? This is especially true for young Black women. These lessons never seem to work...in fact, the "Black Community" seldom frames these incidents as teachable moments...as examples of what to avoid, who to avoid, what not to do, etc. Why is that?

The message to young Black women...from older Black women should be ... NO it is not o.k. to seek and lust after these men. NO Black women should not desire these men. NO it is not o.k. for Rihanna or any other women to try to cover for their thug boyfriends. NO a man should never hit a woman...this IS NOT o.k. NO Rihanna or any other woman should not protect their thug boyfriends from the law. THIS IS NOT O.K.
NO it is not o.k. for Rihanna or any other young woman to obstruct Police when they are trying to lock these ***holes up. But the message from Black women = **crickets chirping**. Unfortunately, young Black women get the opposite message from the Rihanna's every time something like this happens. And it seems to happen about once a week... either nationally or locally. There is always a story with the same general script.... a script repeated all over the Country. And it's poison for "Black Communities".

So I don't think this particular lesson will be taken to heart by young Black women, because there are so many of these lessons on a regular basis and they never seem to work. It will be another teachable moment wasted in the "Black Community". In fact, there seems to be a strange & almost opposite impact. The worse these men are, the more desired and attractive they become in some cases. I am willing to bet that Chris Brown's career won't suffer all that much from this incident. And I am also willing to bet that BET and the NAACP will find something to honor Chris Brown for post-beating. He'll still be a Black hero. Mark my words. Because this never fails to hold true. His chances for more NAACP recognition just went up.... not down. *Sigh* (Wishing that the Goddamn NAACP would go away as an entity... It has morphed into something that DuBois didn't have in mind).

The issue of the Bad Boy is a problem in all ethnic groups... but it's especially strong with Black women. This problem is one of the primary reasons why I don't identify with modern Black culture and it is why my dating preference tends to be White, Asian women, etc. Of course Black women who prefer these men are not for me... that doesn't leave much left in that dating pool, considering that so many women tend to fit that mold. But the pickings are not much better with White and Asian women... because they tend to prefer White males. Even the decent Black women... those who I would consider... tend to date White men exclusively (I have seen this first-hand at least twice... finding out that the Black women who caught my eye dated White men only). So this largely explains why I have always been single... and will likely continue to be single..and will probably die alone. lol Yippee.... Being a Black man in America is just wonderful. (kill me now please).

I was listening to an interview on Public Radio the other day... I believe it was Tavis Smiley's PRI program... and the topic was the Grammy's. When the discussion turned to the rapper "Little Wayne" (?) you could hear how excited the Black woman being interviewed became (I thought she was having an orgasm). It sounded as if she was talking about the greatest thing in the World.

*Sigh*

Black Women and Thugs Part I (also referred to as "Black Women and the Race to the Bottom").

Black Women and Thugs Part II

I also mentioned this problem just a few months ago.

Additional Blog post on this incident, including injuries.

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UPDATE:

Listen as Black women attempt to make excuses for Chris Brown and attempt to soften his image...while discouraging the victim from pressing criminal charges. This is from NPR's News and Notes program (Feb. 11th).

Pay attention to their talking points...

1. "We don't know what sparked it". (as if that has anything to do with anything..... as if whatever the disagreement was about made it o.k. for a man to hit a woman).

2. Chris Brown is an angel....poor Chris Brown.

3. It could have been Rihanna's fault. Perhaps she was the aggressor. Women can be quite violent.

4. This is not as brutal as it was made out to be. The victim is not THAT hurt.

5. Suggesting that Rihanna shouldn't press charges. (sending the wrong message to young women everywhere).

6. What is Chris Brown's side of the story? It's of the utmost importance that we hear from Chris Brown. (unbelievable).

Listen to discussions between NPR's Allison Samuels, Marvet Britto, and Paris Finner-Williams (a domestic violence specialist.......whatever).

Listen to segment 1

Listen to segment 2


Articles

Huffington Post - Rihanna...Just Say No To Abuse

Huffington Post on Previous Abuse

Commentary from Kevin Powell

Not just a little lovey dovey disagreement
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There will be no comments for this posting. I am tired of defending common sense. I am tired of trying to hold a debate with crazy Black folks on this issue. I am tired of attempting to have a discussion with Black women who defend certain kinds of behavior, a certain lifestyle..certain values... etc. There's just no point in doing that anymore. I'm tired of the nonsense.

On Little Black Girls, Beauty and Barbie Dolls

I cried when I read this, because this was me.

From The Black Snob:

On Little Black Girls, Beauty and Barbie Dolls
Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 4:35PM

In my effort to show the world how beautiful black and brown children are (and that Sasha and Malia aren't the unicorns of black children that Madison Avenue is making them out to be), I've received more than 40 emails from happy friends, relatives and parents all wanting to be part of The Black Snob's efforts to show the true beauty of our daughters.

Because that's what this is really about for me.

For some background on why this issue really stuck in my craw and the statement that sent me over the edge, click here. But I want to give you some background as to why I feel so strongly and as to what I plan to do with your beautiful girls.

Along time ago at a kitchen table in an all-black, middle/working class neighborhood in St. Louis, Mo.'s North County a young Danielle Belton, age five, loved to draw and color more than anything in the world. My older sister, aka "Big Sis, bka Denise, didn't like to color, so I inherited all the coloring books she never used.

I could draw for hours and color for hours, but all I drew and colored were white people.

I would take out my Barbie coloring book and select the yellow crayon for her hair, the blue crayon for her eyes and the pink "flesh" colored crayon for her skin. I would make her "beautiful" in what my little noggin thought was beauty.

What's funny is my parents, like many black parents, were trying their hardest to make sure myself and my sister had positive images of other black women and ourselves. My mother constantly fought with the toy store owners about getting in more black dolls because she wanted to buy me Barbies, but worried about how having a gaggle of blonde Malibu and ballerina Barbies could effect my young mind. She immersed us in our culture. She told us we were beautiful all the time.

Yet I still drew and colored nothing but white people.

Then one day, at that kitchen table, my father approached me. Rather than go into a lengthy speech or be embarrassed or shame me, he approached me as you would approach a five year old.

He asked if he could color with me.

I, of course, was pleased that he wanted to join in. My father worked in management for McDonnell Douglass at the time. He was almost always busy at work or winding down from stress. Plus, he was the sole wage earner in the household, hence we didn't get to spend as much time together. I loved playing with my father. I never turned the man down if he was in the mood.

So he took one Barbie page and I took mine. I, quite proudly, made my Barbie look just like the one on the cover, blonde and blue-eyed. Then I looked over at daddy who was coloring his own Barbie but he had done something entirely unexpected to me. He'd taken the brown crayon and made her skin brown. He'd taken the black crayon and gave her beautiful dark hair. He showed his finished picture to me and said sweetly, "Don't you think she's pretty too?"

This was my first "mind-blown" experience. At five it had never occurred to me that I could make Barbie or any drawing anything I wanted it to be. I was following "the rules." Barbies were white. Beautiful people were white. I had never occurred to me that I could "break the rules." I looked at my dad's coloring and thought that was the most beautiful Barbie in the world.

I never colored a white Barbie again. I wanted them to be all as beautiful as the one my father had made.

He didn't have to lecture. He didn't have to get mad. He understood that I just needed my eyes to open to the possibility.

Years later I would do the same thing for my baby sister Deidre, seeing her do the same thing I did as a little kid, coloring all the people white. I showed her my black drawings and she too agreed, the black Barbies were beautiful too.

Whether we realize it or not, no matter how hard we try, the world is sending a message to our children: You are not good enough. You are not pretty enough. You are not wanted.

The rest of this powerful essay is at the link above. As former Black girl, I want to thank the Black Snob for telling my story.

Black and BLACKER: The RACIAL Politics of the Obama Marriage? WTF? Here we go again

Yes, this is an actual title of an actual article in New York Magazine.


When the cover is THIS, you know we're already in trouble.

There was a discussion that I had in the comments section here a few weeks ago with other posters. My question was why Obama's White mama and White grandparents don't seem to get the 'respect' that they should -in raising him.

I would believe that his accomplishments would be a testament of how well they raised him.
Columbia University
Magna Cum Laude at Harvard University Law School
President of the Harvard Law Review

I thought these would be talked about as to how well they had raised him, but where's the pub?

I wondered why.

And, then it it me - Michelle.

His marriage to Michelle negates all of those accomplishments..because..

If they had raised him ' right', then how come he married Michelle?

You know Michelle, humble beginnings Michelle, who wound up going to Princeton and Harvard Law - that Michelle.

But, somehow, his marriage to Michelle shows the 'mistake' his mother and grandparents made.

The PSYCHOSIS behind THAT isn't something that I can relate to, so I had to shrug my shoulders when I came to that realization and move on.

I've just been waiting...the attacks on Michelle have been circling this memo, but none had actually come out and said it.

UNTIL NOW.

I get so tired of being insulted by RACIST TRIPE, and then have mofos try and tell me that I 'misunderstood', that I 'misinterpreted' the English Language.

That, JUST CAUSE it's in New York Magazine, I'm not supposed to call racist #*$& when I see it.

BULL.



There's so much to choose from, but here are some select quotes:

A prospective First Lady carries a heavy symbolic burden, but the notions that have coalesced to tongue-tie Michelle Obama are particularly dense. She’s a type we’ve rarely seen in the public eye, a well-educated woman who is a dedicated mother, successful in her career, and happens to be black. This has created confusion for some people, who seem desperate to find a negative quality in her: She’s too big, too masculine, too much like a drag queen. While Obama may be able to play with urban tropes, like dusting off his jacket à la Jay-Z or speaking in a black patois when the time calls for it, Michelle has been increasingly forced to curtail her personality during the campaign, lest she attract rumors of uttering a verboten, anachronistic word like “whitey” or find herself labeled a “baby mama.” As much as any political campaign is an extended meditation on authenticity, the question of just how black the Obamas are has become particularly loaded. Michelle must project herself as black to one community, but she also must act white to another, whatever either adjective means nowadays.

So much tripe, so little time. But, I must.

She’s a type we’ve rarely seen in the public eye, a well-educated woman who is a dedicated mother, successful in her career, and happens to be black.

Well, nothing special about that. Black women like Michelle Obama are all over the country.

As much as any political campaign is an extended meditation on authenticity, the question of just how black the Obamas are has become particularly loaded. Michelle must project herself as black to one community, but she also must act white to another, whatever either adjective means nowadays.

Well, if you don't know whatever either adjective means nowadays, why the hell did you say it? I believe I've recorded darn near every speech Michelle Obama has given on C-Span. And, I've told folks, I've never paid to hear Barack Obama, but I have paid to hear Michelle, multiple times. In front of predominantly Black audiences. I'm trying to discern this ' Black' Michelle Obama that I paid to see vs. the supposed , what ' ACTING WHITE' Michelle Obama I see on C-Span?

Um....there is no difference.

The description of the Obamas’ life together displays no evidence of their connections to black culture, especially now that it’s not prudent for them to join a new church before the election. They take pains to make sure their lifestyle is as boring as possible. They’ve easily resolved knotty personal issues: Michelle’s 71-year-old mom, Marian Robinson, takes care of the girls, so they don’t have to hire a nanny, which would make them look a little too buppie. (The girls still have the packed schedule of upwardly mobile kids: soccer, dance, drama, gymnastics, tap, tennis, piano. Obama doesn’t like them watching TV.) “When we’re all together in Chicago, we like to play games like charades,” Michelle tells us. “We also love a busy house, which means potluck dinners with our close friends and family as often as we can.” We have little idea of the racial makeup of such potlucks.

The description of the Obamas’ life together displays no evidence of their connections to black culture, especially now that it’s not prudent for them to join a new church before the election.

1. Um, if they are Black in this country, and they live in an urban setting, as they do, they have connections to 'Black Culture'. - I think, but but but.....
2. WTF does she mean by ' Black Culture'?
3. So, when I was searching for a new church home and didn't belong to any permanent church, I had disconnected from BLACK CULTURE? Just asking.

They take pains to make sure their lifestyle is as boring as possible.

Cause we all know, if Barack wasn't running for President, he and Michelle would be out clubbin' every night, drinking 40's until dawn.

They’ve easily resolved knotty personal issues: Michelle’s 71-year-old mom, Marian Robinson, takes care of the girls, so they don’t have to hire a nanny, which would make them look a little too buppie.

So, if Malia and Sasha were left to fend for themselves, that would be 'authentically Black'? My Mama made sure there was always an adult with HER children, so did that make Mama buppie? I thought making sure that a responsible adult was looking after the children was what a good parent does?

White folks call it Nanny. Black folks called her ' Big Mama', or ' Mis Sis', or 'Mis Mabel' or 'Mama T', and she's been around the Black community since we've been here.

“When we’re all together in Chicago, we like to play games like charades,” Michelle tells us. “We also love a busy house, which means potluck dinners with our close friends and family as often as we can.” We have little idea of the racial makeup of such potlucks.

WE HAVE LITTLE IDEA OF THE RACIAL MAKEUP OF SUCH POTLUCKS.

AS IF, it's your business who the Obamas invite into their home.

I'd like to know when you're going to ask about the racial makeup of the McCain dinner parties. I highly dout that Straight Talk and the Pill Poppin' Piece-On-The-Side have 'potlucks'.

She’s not quite as smooth a political player as Barack: “Whenever Obama enters the room, there’s a sense of calm and satisfaction,” says a former campaign aide. “Michelle can get a little more tense. Before she goes on-camera for interviews, we’d have to give her a couple of minutes to compose herself. She’ll sit down, raise her hands over her head, and go, ‘Ugh, God!’ ” That’s a mask she’s wearing in public, most of the time, and we aren’t sure what is underneath. When she uttered her fateful words about how, for “the first time in my adult life, I’m really proud of my country,” she unleashed an explosion of emotion, because everyone who’s awake could read between the lines—she was angry about the treatment of black people in America. And anger will not do. Besides, what does she have to be angry about, with her Ivy education and Hyde Park mansion? Isn’t she herself an example of the fact that racism is over in America?

That’s a mask she’s wearing in public, most of the time, and we aren’t sure what is underneath.

Oh, and when you see the Pill Poppin' Piece-On-The-Side, she's pouring out her soul for all to see?

Uh huh.

“the first time in my adult life, I’m really proud of my country,” she unleashed an explosion of emotion, because everyone who’s awake could read between the lines—she was angry about the treatment of black people in America.

If you're Black, and you can think for yourself, please explain to me, what logical reason would you have to NOT be angry?

You don't even know that's what Michelle meant.

She could have meant, after watching Reagan, Bush 1, and the last 8 Years of The Constitution being torn asunder (Michelle is a lawyer, ya know); of seeing people be discouraged, and dismayed at what OUR country was turning into, with the Corporations stealing this nation blind, that maybe Michelle was blown away, by the grassroots activism that impressed the hell out of my cynical behind when I first went to Camp Obama.

MAYBE, it was that that made her REALLY proud in her adult life.

But, maybe you're right - she was channelling her inner Angela Davis.

And anger will not do.

No, I guess we're supposed to be happy as clams. After all, Pat Buchanan tells us we should be so happy about slavery-it brought us to America.

Besides, what does she have to be angry about, with her Ivy education and Hyde Park mansion? Isn’t she herself an example of the fact that racism is over in America?

Say it with me, people.... YOU UNGRATEFUL DARKIE, YOU!

I mean, Michelle couldn't have actually WORKED for anything she has. I mean, that would be too much like right.

Let me explain this to White people....it doesn't matter how much money you have..

YOU'RE STILL BLACK IN AMERICA.

Now, the more money you have, you get the creature comforts and luxuries.

But, YOU'RE STILL BLACK IN AMERICA.

" If you forget you're Black when you wake up, by 5 p.m. that day, someone would have reminded you." - MULTI-MILLIONAIRE Percy Sutton

Do you really think they're a financial level you attain, and suddenly, ' You're not Black' anymore? Now, I'm not saying that it doesn't happen with some folks thinking that they can tear up their Black cards (Michael Jackson, OJ, etc.), but invariably something happens to remind them.

YOU'RE STILL BLACK IN AMERICA.

The rest of this insulting piece of trash was just to get to this paragraph, because this IS the crux of the matter:

And nearly 70 percent of whites, according to a CBS/New York Times poll from last month, say that America is ready to elect a black president—in theory. But it seems that a lot of white Americans are wondering about what promised land, exactly, the Obamas are going to lead us to. Even if Obama is the kind of black politician that middle-American white voters can get behind, the secret fear is that he could be a black Trojan horse with all sorts of passengers like Wright—or onetime compadres Bernie Mac and Ludacris—peeping out from under the canvas. He could be ... Michelle. Or at least what Michelle represents: a smart, angry black person in the White House.

Barack Obama as TROJAN HORSE....

Barack Obama as Manchurian Candidate....

Sigh.

HE's alright...until you look at who he's married to.

Uh huh.

He could be ... Michelle. Or at least what Michelle represents: a smart, angry black person in the White House.

Oh my...a smart, angry Black person in the White House.

I asked in the comments, will someone show me the Angry Michelle. As someone who is a verified Michelle-A-Holic, I have to admit, that I've missed the Angry Michelle. Will someone point me in the direction of Angry Michelle?

I hear repeatedly from White folks about ' Angry Michelle', but all I see when I look at Michelle Obama, and when I read the interviews, and when I watch the speeches on C-Span and paid my own money to hear her is:

An educated, thoughtful, conscious woman who obviously loves her husband, children and country.

Sisters Gina and Nichelle summed it up well at Michelle Obama Watch:

The message from the article is that Black women are not suitable mates for successful Black men and you can’t trust him because he married HER.

Exactly. That is always the undercurrent in coverage of Michelle Obama. I guess the media is so used to seeing successful, educated Black men like Barack with women who are non-black or very light-skinned if they are Black. Historically, that has been the case so to see Barack with brown-skinned-clearly-black-not-mixed Michelle is making a lot of people lose their conservative AND liberal minds.

Good:)

The Obamas as Racial Rorschach Test, Version Number 29382983.